Canstralian

I should add catagories to this at some point.

But anyway... I was thinkg earlier, self-assessing if you like... I wonder if sometimes I'm picking fights with Obi because I want an excuse to leave, to go home, to have everything simple.

...What if, now that I've achieved the end of the long distance relationship part of me thinks that the thrill is now gone, the game is over, time to collect the prize and go home?

The mind is fickle, so who knows?

Not with our most current fight of course. I know that isn't what this is about because it's bugged me for a year But with the little things....

I love him and our little home, most days I enjoy my work. My life isn't thrilling, but it's comfortable, a steady progression towards goals. Excepting for the random bouts of depression that I'd get anyway, I'm happy. But part of me still screams that this is too hard, that I can't do this any more.

I have a fair idea where Obi's reply to my letter will take him, and have started to mentally prepare myself for what happens if I'm forced into a corner... and have to say goodbye.

Do I have the guts?