Canstralian

I live in constant fear that I will lose my job. My workmates treat me very badly and screw me around. They set me up to fall and I walk into their traps. Some days I still really love my job, other days I dream of any and all of the bad things that would stop me going there. I fear the reason I'm still on probation is that my boss isn't sure she wants to keep me on at all but simply doesn't have the staff to replace me yet. Still, some good may come of this. My supervisor is talking about giving me every second sunday off, which would be a blessing, because they think I'm still working my second job and my poor work is due to lack of sleep. I feel like a failure.
But, there's no point in dwelling on it. I will just keep trying to do better.

I got my second job to put me on call for a few months, so I feel less stressed there I made the right choice.

Obi finally lined up a job in his field, and has a start date, so I'm over the moon for him. There is a chance they'll want him to shift work though, which neither of us saw coming. We're both dreading it. I know he needs to get his foot in the door so this time I need to just suck it up - he really needs this job, it's important to our future - but I'm scared of what that will do to the relationship. Add in his commute time, and he'll be gone 13 hours of every day - put those 13 hours into the evening? *Shakes head*
I keep telling myself that on the bright side, he'd be here on my days off - so we'd have less time together but what we did have would be in bigger chunks, but we're both not happy with it at all. He trusts me to pull us through if it comes to that though.

On day shift though, he'll get in an hour or so later than me now, which will suck because before there was always the chance I'd finish work early and snatch an hour or two extra with him and now that too will be gone, but it shouldn't disrupt our lives too much. I'm thinking if he does end up on night shift, I'll ask him to start letterbooking with me again.

Over all, things have been good between us. We've gone out a little more, done more things together, just put more effort in for each other, and it's worked well. Some evenings there are too many things we want to do together and not enough time, and that makes us smile becuase before we just didn't know how to hang out close distance!

Oh - this other sweet thing. There was a long weekend recently. Obi had the three days off of course, and because of the nature of my work I did not. So, he bought me lunch two of those days and read to me for the half hour I get as a break. It made my days so much better!!